More from the Raving Mute

The world according to Nancy

"Justice! I hate justice. It's the law that I love" - The king in Gullivers Travel's by J Swift

I was duly elected, true it was just one city
Still now I speak for Congress, gee ain't that a pity
Yes it's me that they chose, when they took the vote call
That speaks for their judgement, that says it all
So now I make the laws, along with my friends
With hubris and arrongance, means justified by ends

I supported dissent, back in the day
But now we are in power, so free speach is passe
It's like totally bogus, its Unamerican you see
To voice your opinion, unless I agree
How dare they presume , that their voices be heard
They're just little people, it's utterly absurd

Now they're stirred up, town hall protest they make
I'm so not impressed, let them eat cake
They should just shut up, we dont need their advice
It's for them we are building, a workers paradise
A true Great Society, that's what we melding
Just me and my friends, like Harry the Gelding

So, should they continue to protest to long
We'll take off the gloves and unleash ACORN
Our rat squad is in place, they read every blog
Enemies of the state, we record in our log
Not since Tricky Dick, has it been done so well
Slander and intimidation, all opposition to quell

And as far as the media, should they question to hard
They've been put on notice, we'll play the race card
Except MSNBC, their views are just fine
They write better scripts, than our own party line
It makes me ecstatic, it's almost like heaven
Our very own infomercial, running twenty four seven
They cherry pick whats news, then slant it and spin
An unrelenting barrage, of sycophant din

As for that other network, I won't say their name
You know who I mean, they wont play our game
They give me disphasia, they make me say BAH!
Refuse to sit in our circle, and sing kum-bai yah
They point out our flaws, give voice to the prole
It has to be stopped, we need more control
Fairness doctrine it failed, so a new law we'll pass
To nationalize the media, make them all just like Tass
They'll come under one name, I've got it for sooth
We'll just call them all, The "Ministry of Truth"
Then we'll ram through each bill, the public can't spike it
We're your government in action, how do you like it?

Who cares about cost, trillions are fine
We'll just tax all new income, I've already got mine
And the national debt, why should anyone care?
Generations not born yet, It's for them to bear

So you thought we'd be better, than the last guys?
Both parties count on that, Hel-lo Que Surprise!
The difference is small, between who holds the whip
From the cup of great statesmen, you never shall sip
No matter our party, our gender or race
We all talk out our ass, and both sides of our face
But dont get discouraged, I'll tell you why
Keep hoping for change, it's on that we rely

Who knows, it could happen?
The day that pigs fly!

The Raving Mute

Exercise Tip of the month- Plank pose

Very similar to July's pose but equally awesome for the core!!!

Starting Position
Begin by lying on your stomach with palms on the floor next to your shoulders, feet and legs together, toes down.


Action
Lift your body up so that your arms are straight (palms below shoulders) and weight is balanced evenly between hands and toes, keeping body as straight as possible. Hold for 30 seconds and work up to 1-3 minutes.


Special Instructions
Don't let your hips drop or rise, and be sure not to shift weight to one arm. Remember to breathe.

If you want to give this a little twist hold the regular pose for 30 seconds and then do lift one leg off the floor for 30 seconds then return that leg and lift the other leg off the floor for 30 seconds.

Strengthens abs, arms, wrists and spine- What could be bad???

**From Sparkpeople.com**

6 years of

ups, downs, fun, stress, laugher, tears, changes, challenges, learning, leaning, loving, and growing.

The long and short of it: Wedded bliss with a twist!

A boy who is in touch with his feminine side

and rocks Minnie Mouse shades like no other.

There ain't (pardon the slang) nothing better in the world

than a heartfelt kiss between the children.

A few things:

A public apology to all of the people in my contact list that my son has called in the last few weeks (especially my customers Lloyd and Alex).
A request to Luke for an apology back to me for changing the year on my phone to 2077, my email address to christine.jihultz@sprint.com, my name to "Ap", and my customer's name from Alex to "Py".
A question for Palm- Why do you make an alleged "smartphone" so damn easy to unlock that a 1 year old can do it?
Another question for Luke- Why can't you play with the 5 old blackberries in your toy box as opposed to my live, active cell phone? And how on earth did you figure out how to unlock it and make calls and change contact information and manipulate the calendar?
Yet another question for Luke- Since you're obviously very good at using the thing- How do I switch back to the year 2009 without scrolling through 68 years worth of months?

Is it time

to address my OCD or is my awareness of it's existence, for now, enough? Does counting the sweat drops as they fall off your face and hit the bike in spin class and comparing that number to prior weeks numbers signal the need for intervention? Or is that some quirky exercise person survival of the fittest characteristic aka going bored out of your mind avoidance technique?

186

Pondering

How is it fair that it takes 2 long months to take off 13 pounds and 3 days to put 1/3 of it back on? Furthermore, whoever made up the bullshit story that "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is dead WRONG. If that were the case the steaks and fries and corned beef hash and raspberry vodka lemonades and pina coladas I ate and drank while there would have stayed there, NOT on my hips.

humpffffff

Special Thanks

going out to the lady at safety swim that helped me put Eva's bathing suit on yesterday amidst one of the hairiest public hissy fits I've ever been unfortunate enough to witness.

Basically I struggled and struggled and struggled trying to put her swim diaper on while 10 horrified onlookers stared until one lovely, been there done that Grandma decided to do her good deed for the day. I held Eva in straight jacket fashion and this nice lady put Eva's suit on for me, all the while dodging kicks and spit and horrific insults, and (probably most importantly) reassuring me that Eva would be fine and every kid does this. For the record, I didn't see anyone else's kids doing that.

This was swim lesson #2 and although it started out WAAAAAAAAY worse then swim lesson #1, where I had the element of surprise and unknown on my side, it ended WAAAAAAAAAAY better. Eva even managed to stop crying part of the way through and actually enjoyed herself. Here's hoping that it wasn't a fluke.

Dolphin Pose- Exercise tip of the month ;-)

Starting Position
Start in an inverted V: forearms on floor, elbows wide, hands clasped, butt lifted, legs straight. Tip head between arms to look at feet.


Action
Looking up, press body forward until chin is above hands. Return to start to complete one rep.


The movement is subtle. You are only moving your butt up in the air a few inches. When you go flat try and hold it for a few more seconds to make it a little harder. I do 15 of these every few days and without fail everytime I do them I get sore in places I never knew existed. Give them a shot. They are supposed to strengthen your core and they do exactly that...after they tear your core apart..... Well worth the burn.

How long does a man

have to be married before he just KNOWS that you simply cannot get feminine hygene products at Lowe's??? I mean like really knows? Like doesn't have to ask anymore??? 6 years? 20 years? What? How many?

Wish me luck

not going to say why I need it ... yet... but I do. Got a lot going on (all good) but I'm superstitious so I need to keep mum. I'm still here. I'll be back soon. With news hopefully. Stay tuned....

This girl is wise beyond her years

I don't think I could manage this feat till at least 17 years of age. For a girl who learned how to walk late, she's walking in heels waaaaaaaay early.

A shout out

The happiest little boy I've had the pleasure to meet. I don't think its possible for him to make eye contact and not grin from ear to ear. It's his gift to me everyday.