A Day In The Life Of A Lif

Wanna know why I've been away so long??????

2010-05-26T06:24:00.005-04:00

Fine. I'll tell you. Here's my dirty little secret.

I knew it would happen because I saw what it did to seemingly rational adults so I resisted the urge to pick up this dirty habit for a really long time. Even while all of the of other addicts were talking about how amazing it is and how they just couldn't quit it and how it took over their lives, I stayed away. I was proud of myself for the restraint I showed. I was smug, arrogant and in hindsight, incredibly stupid.

I thought I was in the clear when all of the hype was just about gone and society was moving on. It crept in one day, the thought that maybe I should try it and see what it was all about. Was I missing out on something major? How could I go through life not experiencing it. Not knowing what everyone was talking about when it was just so easy to be in the know.

I let that momentarly lapse in judgement plant a seed in my head that, in all honesty I don't regret, not even sligthly. It did all of the things I thought it was going to do. All of the things that were making me stay away. It sucked me in, took over my life, I spent the better part of 3 weeks thinking about it and getting my fixes in whenever I had 4 seconds to spare. I fore-went showers, sleep, magazines, workouts and meals just to fit it in.... Now that I'm through the worst of it I can say I was addicted.

So yeah, I'm a Twilight loser junkie and Edward Cullen is every bit as dreamy as every 14 year old girl (and probably as many 40 year old women) in America would have you believe!

I read all 4 books in about 2 weeks. All while juggling a full-time job, a hubby, 2 kids and training for a half marathon. We made it through but we are forever changed ;-).

I was remiss

2010-05-26T06:16:00.004-04:00

In wishing the Grand Duke a happy second birthday here!!!! Better late than never!! Happy birthday Honey Cakes!!!

An oldie but goodie:

Btw- he's officially in the terrible twos!!! You'd be surprised how quickly one could forget how fierce they could be, especially since big sis just turned 3 a few months ago but, man alive, does he throw a temper tantrum with zeal!

On a semi related note "big sis" has decided at the ripe old age of 3 yrs and 3 months that she "needs to start wearing makeup" so that she "can fall in love". Pray for me folks. Pray long and hard.

Bucket List Item- Half Marathon- CHECK

2010-05-03T17:31:00.009-04:00

THAT was HARD!!!!!!!!!! OMG y'all I almost didnt make it through!! Many thanks to Jenn for keeping me in the race. She kept a great pace and gave me just enough appropriately timed pep talks and dirty looks to not allow me to allow myself to give up. I seriously could not have done it without her. Some more thanks to Doug (my trainer) for getting me ready for this event. And Super Special THanks to Marc and the kids for being at the finish line to cheer me on. LOL does it sound like I'm at the Oscars??

I won't bore you with the mile by mile mental recap because afterall it was 13.1 miles and you don't have all day to read my blog but suffice it to say IT WAS HARD! Mentally, physically and whatever other "allys" apply. I will so do this again. Next time I will train more outside and I will have an actual time goal that I would like to acheive/beat. My goal this time was to finish, and run the whole thing. CHECK.

My official net time (from when I crossed the starting line) was 2 hrs 7 mins and 17 seconds. Not too shabby for a first timer. I came 1831 out of 4074 total people and 657 out of 1950 females. Yep, my shoulder hurts from patting myself on the back.

Without further ado, a pictorial recap:

The carbs I had Saturday night, which is, no lie the reason why I signed up for this race. There is something about the promise of a blissfull night of unlimited guilt free carbs that will make a woman do really crazy things:

Here's Annette, Jenn and I right before the start:

Here's Jenn and I with our hard earned medals after the finish:

The best cheerleaders ever:

Need some luck and some positive vibes

2010-04-30T16:11:00.002-04:00

Running my first 1/2 marathon this Sunday! That's 13.1 miles in case you didnt know.

Pray for me.

http://www.thelimarathon.com/

Be back soon with an update. Till then I'll just be worrying :)

PSA- Boca Burgers in the microwave

2010-04-20T12:12:00.001-04:00

Are not fit for dogs.

My blog sux lately

2010-04-19T14:42:00.003-04:00

For that, I apologize. It's in no way indicative of or representative of my life lately. If you've followed my blog for a while you know it happens...what?... shit.

Like Papa always says

2010-03-05T12:43:00.002-05:00

This boy will one day work at Radio Shack. He can't say milk correctly but he sure as hell knows technology:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG6ODgZU7mI

Out of the mouths of babes

2010-03-05T11:03:00.001-05:00

Today I tried to get Eva to wear cute little pink Mary Janes with her pink tights and brown and pink argyle sweater dress. She flat out refused. Her reasoning: "Those are not in season now Mommy, it's snowing. I need to wear my brown boots." I couldn't argue with her logic but I guess I don't have a future fashionista on my hands. She won't take after Mommy in the shoe department. I guess she gets her footwear gene from the Lifschultz's who are way more practical in that regard. Oh well....

Decided to try and run 8 miles today just to see if I could.

2010-02-13T15:08:00.001-05:00

Guess what??? I can. Just saying...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-10T18:32:00.000-05:00

February 3rd Flashback

2010-02-03T20:24:00.002-05:00

3 years ago today:

HOLY SHIT STAIN

2010-02-03T14:27:00.000-05:00

This is funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1tufV0u5Ec&feature=related

Can you feel the love?

2010-02-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

PSA- Exercise and Eating

2010-01-29T16:53:00.001-05:00

Do not eat a entire giant English Hothouse cucumber 30 minutes before an intense workout. You will get "the puke face".

Don't fret

2010-01-20T22:17:00.004-05:00

You're at the right blog. I'm just doing some housekeeping and making some changes. Call it another side effect of watching the show "Hoarders". I absolutely cannot watch the show without overhauling and cleaning out my pantry, linen closet, sock and or underwear drawer, junk drawer, makeup bag, under the bathroom sink, t-shirt shelf and most recently my blog. Bear with me while I find just the right layout (for now).

On a related note: have you seen the show "Hoarders"?????? Monday nights, A&E, 10 pm. FUH REAKY. Sad. Bizarre. Watch through your fingers while gasping for air but simply cannot turn it off out there. Good for making you clean that long neglected cabinet.

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/ chigga check it out!

Isn't she too young for this?

2010-01-20T11:23:00.003-05:00

Mommy: Eva it's time to brush your teeth.
Eva: No
Mommy: Honey it wasn't a question and you don't have a choice. Please brush your teeth now.
Eva: No
Mommy: Here is your toothbrush now brush your teeth or we can't leave for school. Look I'm doing mine. We can do it together.
Eva: No
Mommy: Honey I'm going to count to three and you better start brushing your teeth. 1,2,3.
Eva: Whatever.
Mommy: what did you say?
Eva: Whatever.
Mommy: Please don't say that to me. It's not nice.
Eva: Whatever.

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-03T16:39:00.004-05:00

I'm sick of listening to people talk about New Year's Resolutions. If you spent less time talking about shit you wanted to do differently and more time actually doing it you wouldn't have to make an effing resolution on December 31st every year. Furthermore, why do people wait until January 1st to change things in their lives? What's the significance of that date??? I know it's the first day of the calendar year but seriously, what else? Why is it so magical? Why is that the day people choose to be the people they really want to be? Isn't today just as good a day as January 1st?

If you are unhappy and want to change something, start now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not on your birthday, not twenty eleven. For a lot of people tomorrow never comes. One day for all of us tomorrow is not going to come. If you want to do it, just go on and do it. People respect that. Action is inspirational.

Oh, by the way

It's not fair

2010-01-02T13:58:00.003-05:00

That I won't be able to get on a treadmill anytime soon in the next month without having to get up at some ungodly hour or without having to stalk one. Would all you new years resolutions gym goers knock it off already and buy a treadmill for your house??? Come on...they make really nice clothes hangers.

PSA - Driving with a ton of snow on top of your car

2009-12-21T15:57:00.003-05:00

IS DANGEROUS! DUH!?!?!??!??!?!? Don't ya know eventually that snow is going to fly off your roof and smash into someone windsheild? Don't ya also know that the chances are y'all will be driving when that happens????? I realize snow is white and fluffy and innocent when it comes down but once it sits for a day and gets wet and cold and hard it can become a weapon! Much like a soft feathery turkey does when it's frozen.

Um, do you want to be hit by a ton of ice in the windsheild whilst going 60 mph on the expressway? No. Well, neither does anyone else so clean off the effin roofs of your cars. Just a little bit of the Golden Rule will go a long way here folks. Ya know the one that says don't hurl humongous blocks of snow and ice at 80 miles an hour from the roof of your van onto others peoples windsheilds while they unsuspectingly drive around town christmas shopping if you don't want it done to you....

Did I mention "DUH"????????????????!

Pondering Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Pancakes

2009-12-20T09:52:00.003-05:00

Why do I bother pouring and mixing and spilling and flipping and buttering and all that jazz when the pancake is going to be picked apart by little human crow'esque fingers just to get the chips out? Why don't I just dump some gooey chocolate chips on a paper plate and call it breakfast?

Who do you feel worse for? Me or these disemboweled pancake carcassses?

Another installment of the baby photo shoot chronicles- Holiday 09

2009-12-13T14:45:00.004-05:00

It's time for another holiday card!!! This time I enlisted the help of a professional, Grandma. Since she's taken pix of every brat on the island born between 1980 and 2000, and as many (if not more) bridezillas, I figured she was up for the challenge. There was very little bribing (the little amount there was didn't work), lots of "PRETTTTTTTTY PLEASE just sit still for a minute", a fair amount of grumbling under my breath, and a teensy weensy bit of photoshop but the final product is pretty G D awesome!!! See for yourself:

Some of you will get this in the mail and others will have to admire it from this page. If you happen to be in the latter category and want to be in the first category email me your address and you can have your very own copy!! :-)

Thanks Rammar/Mooma!!!

What is it about the day after Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T10:08:00.003-05:00

That makes it perfectly acceptable to eat a full plate or potatoes, stuffing, green beans, turkey and corn for breakfast.... with your coffee... literally at 9 am?

Mommy brag- Eva's 1st homework assignment

2009-11-19T17:27:00.003-05:00

Allow me to introduce you to Eva's (and Mommy's) first homework assignment. It was really hard for me to "know my role" and stay within the confines of it, which was to write our family name on the top of the paper and trace the hands of our immediate family members elsewhere on the sheet, and allow Eva her creative license to decorate it. The instructions were to "Have fun making it special", "Use crayons, stickers, markers, glue, whatever your heart desires to make it pretty b/c we are hanging it on the wall in school". I gravitated (in my usual OCD way) to the ruler and the the pencil and the rainbow colored markers. Eva took a special liking to a dark blue sharpie. I could not pry it from her hands. After I painstakingly outlined our last name and all of the handprints she completely covered over her handprint and a good part of Daddy's hand in dark blue sharpie. I finally had to say "I think it's done! And boy is it lovely!!!". She agreed. Here it is:

Can I get a woot woot???!??!?!

2009-11-17T10:57:00.003-05:00

I'm 85% done with my Christmas Shopping. Just saying.

Now I don't have to grumble and bah humbug everyone that says they finished on Black Friday. Better yet I don't have to leave my house on Black Friday and I can stay home and stuff my gullet full of left over stuffing.

So I ask again... can I get a woot woot?

Halloween and dress up

2009-11-03T13:39:00.005-05:00

I don't have a nice pic of Eva in her dorothy dress from Halloween b/c she wouldn't cooperate but I do have a few cute ones from "princess dress up hour" a few days prior. Check her out. Doesn't she make a lovely snow white????

Lukey's pix are authentically Halloween!!! All Aboard!!!!!!!!!

Love/Hate Friday Five HALLOWEEN

2009-10-30T12:52:00.003-04:00

Sorry it's been a whole week and you're stuck with another LHFF with nothing in between but it's been hella crazy around here.

Things I luuuuuuurve about halloween:

1. Kids in costumes
2. All different colored leaves
3. Sweatshirts
4. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
5.

Things about Halloween that are crazy making for me:
1. Knocking on peoples doors with my hands/bag out looking for candy that I don't even want to eat
2. Uncontrollable urges to consume large amounts of candy
3. Guilty feelings after eating said large amounts of candy
4. Guilt about eating candy in front of my kids and the guilt from hiding it from them (ie eating in the coat closet)
5. The stupid "ghost" who leaves the chain letter/halloween package at my door who I must give to 3 other people in the neighborhood before the stroke of midnight on halloween! Who thinks of this stuff?!?!?!?!? The gag always ends when it gets to my house.

Love/ Hate Friday Five

2009-10-23T13:26:00.003-04:00

Five things I lurve about Fall:

1. Soup
2. Boots
3. Sweaters
4. Thanksgiving is uhcoming
5. Apple pie and vanilla ice cream

Five things I hate about Fall:
1. Baseball season is coming to an end
2. It's dark in the morning when I go to work
3. It's dark in the evening when I get home from work
4. Pedicures take a backseat
5. I have almost no willpower when it comes to vanilla ice cream and apple pie.

Out of the mouth of babes

2009-10-13T11:14:00.004-04:00

Eva says:

"Mommy when I put this on I feel like a butterfly!"

Trying so desperately to become someone who

2009-10-02T11:25:00.002-04:00

loves running. It's hella hard. After all these years I still only midly like it. When is it going to click? What am I doing wrong? What's missing? Don't get me wrong, I love the feeling of accomplishment when it's done and the muscles in my legs and the cardio strength I know I have as a result of regular sesssion but I don't think I ever get that "runner's high" while I'm running. I'd like to be the person that enjoys doing it WHILE i'm doing it.

I'm running my first organized 5k tomorrow. Since I usually only run alone around the hood or on the treadmill at the gym this is all new to me. Maybe the competitive thing is that thing I'm missing. We'll see. I'll let ya know.

The Raving Mute is being spun off here

2009-09-21T12:56:00.002-04:00

http://theravingmute.blogspot.com/

I just got it all set up and added his old ravings. There will be a new one early next week, for your reading pleasure!!! Feel free to drop by and show my Pops some love. He likes to know he's not his biggest (and only) fan.

Worth the wait

2009-09-14T10:08:00.015-04:00

The kids finally love each other. They really do. Watch till the end!!! This was taken over the weekend at Sesame Place with Eva and Luke and their cousins. We had a fab time. The kids behaved (mostly), the weather was good (kind of), and the characthers were all really friendly (except Oscar). All in all, a good time was had!

and some pix to prove that we really did meet celebrity monsters:

Thanks for looking!!!!!

How did I make it through all of these years

2009-09-13T20:12:00.002-04:00

of child rearing without one "poop in the tub" incident? Answer- I'm that damn good.

Why did it finally have to happen tonight? Answer- I got cocky. :-)

Before and Afters

2009-09-10T21:31:00.003-04:00

Of the mailbox.

Before the sex change operation (this is the picture you saw earlier in the week):

After the final (I hope) incident (did the offender really think we wouldn't notice????):

Shrivel

2009-09-10T21:27:00.003-04:00

3 things a 2 and a half year old should never say. Especially not in a row.

-Daddy you shouldn't say f*cking
-Daddy you're not supposed to say c*cksucker
-Daddy you can't say f*cking c*cksucker

3rd time's a charm!!! and a lesson in Karma

2009-09-08T11:22:00.005-04:00

I'll try and make a long story short here because this one goes back almost 2 years but it's finally come full circle.... actually half circle but it's all good.

1 year and a half ago someone rounded the corner my house is on and cut the curb a little too close and blasted my mailbox with his or her sideview mirror. Don't know who he was because he didnt stop, he left us to deal with it. He'll get his.

It's one of those plastic mailboxes with doors on both sides, for lazy folks who don't want to step out in the street to get the mail. Here she is last winter. You can see how she slightly hangs into the street. I suppose it looks like she's asking to be blown to smithereens. She seems to be taunting passersby.

Fast forward to last spring and my across the street, 2 doors down neighbor rounds the corner and little to tight and gives my mailbox another good wollop! Knocks her 35% off kilter, sends the front and back doors into my yard and leaves her with screws that holds the top on all jacked around and sticking out. She comes to my door and tells me she sorry and offers to write me a check and whines about how her husband is going to kill her for shattering the side view mirror. I got the feeling she wanted a check from me for her mirror. I told her keep her check and she's not getting one from me and to take the corner a little slower next time.

So for 6 months we've been nursing the thing. Rigging it up so the doors stay shut. Playing a game with the postman. We rig the doors, he puts the mail in, the doors fall off, he has to get out of his truck to pick the doors up and then he puts them in the actual mailbox with the mail. We get the mail and rig the doors back on, he opens the doors to put the mail in and they fall off, etc, etc.

Fast forward to last night and someone takes the curve too tight and gives my mailbox her final assault. She just can't take it anymore. She succumbs to the final blow and takes her final resting place in the flower bed behind her post. Marc decides to let her rest in peace for the night and figures he'll deal with it in the morning. We're not getting mail at night anyway so why not let her lay with her post one last time??? This morning we wake up and go out to assess the damage and behold a miracle!!!!!! Whoever the fine person is that blasted my mailboxe's jorts right off has a heart and he believes in karma. He came back in the middle of the night and put her back on her post better than she's ever been before. Her screws don't stick out anymore, the doors don't fall off AND they shut and stay shut, she's not hanging off to the left side and best of all because he put her back on the post backwards she doesn't stick out into the street!!!!! So fine, the flag and the #s are now on the wrong side but I'll take it for not having to borrow a post hole digger and schlep to Lowes for a new mailbox! Good Karma for that stranger? CHECK!

More from the Raving Mute

2009-08-23T09:50:00.007-04:00

The world according to Nancy

"Justice! I hate justice. It's the law that I love" - The king in Gullivers Travel's by J Swift

I was duly elected, true it was just one city
Still now I speak for Congress, gee ain't that a pity
Yes it's me that they chose, when they took the vote call
That speaks for their judgement, that says it all
So now I make the laws, along with my friends
With hubris and arrongance, means justified by ends

I supported dissent, back in the day
But now we are in power, so free speach is passe
It's like totally bogus, its Unamerican you see
To voice your opinion, unless I agree
How dare they presume , that their voices be heard
They're just little people, it's utterly absurd

Now they're stirred up, town hall protest they make
I'm so not impressed, let them eat cake
They should just shut up, we dont need their advice
It's for them we are building, a workers paradise
A true Great Society, that's what we melding
Just me and my friends, like Harry the Gelding

So, should they continue to protest to long
We'll take off the gloves and unleash ACORN
Our rat squad is in place, they read every blog
Enemies of the state, we record in our log
Not since Tricky Dick, has it been done so well
Slander and intimidation, all opposition to quell

And as far as the media, should they question to hard
They've been put on notice, we'll play the race card
Except MSNBC, their views are just fine
They write better scripts, than our own party line
It makes me ecstatic, it's almost like heaven
Our very own infomercial, running twenty four seven
They cherry pick whats news, then slant it and spin
An unrelenting barrage, of sycophant din

As for that other network, I won't say their name
You know who I mean, they wont play our game
They give me disphasia, they make me say BAH!
Refuse to sit in our circle, and sing kum-bai yah
They point out our flaws, give voice to the prole
It has to be stopped, we need more control
Fairness doctrine it failed, so a new law we'll pass
To nationalize the media, make them all just like Tass
They'll come under one name, I've got it for sooth
We'll just call them all, The "Ministry of Truth"
Then we'll ram through each bill, the public can't spike it
We're your government in action, how do you like it?

Who cares about cost, trillions are fine
We'll just tax all new income, I've already got mine
And the national debt, why should anyone care?
Generations not born yet, It's for them to bear

So you thought we'd be better, than the last guys?
Both parties count on that, Hel-lo Que Surprise!
The difference is small, between who holds the whip
From the cup of great statesmen, you never shall sip
No matter our party, our gender or race
We all talk out our ass, and both sides of our face
But dont get discouraged, I'll tell you why
Keep hoping for change, it's on that we rely

Who knows, it could happen?
The day that pigs fly!

The Raving Mute

Exercise Tip of the month- Plank pose

2009-08-22T14:22:00.003-04:00

Very similar to July's pose but equally awesome for the core!!!

Starting Position
Begin by lying on your stomach with palms on the floor next to your shoulders, feet and legs together, toes down.

Action
Lift your body up so that your arms are straight (palms below shoulders) and weight is balanced evenly between hands and toes, keeping body as straight as possible. Hold for 30 seconds and work up to 1-3 minutes.

Special Instructions
Don't let your hips drop or rise, and be sure not to shift weight to one arm. Remember to breathe.

If you want to give this a little twist hold the regular pose for 30 seconds and then do lift one leg off the floor for 30 seconds then return that leg and lift the other leg off the floor for 30 seconds.

Strengthens abs, arms, wrists and spine- What could be bad???

**From Sparkpeople.com**

6 years of

2009-08-22T14:16:00.003-04:00

ups, downs, fun, stress, laugher, tears, changes, challenges, learning, leaning, loving, and growing.

The long and short of it: Wedded bliss with a twist!

A boy who is in touch with his feminine side

2009-08-21T13:14:00.004-04:00

and rocks Minnie Mouse shades like no other.

There ain't (pardon the slang) nothing better in the world

2009-08-18T16:01:00.002-04:00

than a heartfelt kiss between the children.

A few things:

2009-08-10T12:09:00.007-04:00

A public apology to all of the people in my contact list that my son has called in the last few weeks (especially my customers Lloyd and Alex).
A request to Luke for an apology back to me for changing the year on my phone to 2077, my email address to christine.jihultz@sprint.com, my name to "Ap", and my customer's name from Alex to "Py".
A question for Palm- Why do you make an alleged "smartphone" so damn easy to unlock that a 1 year old can do it?
Another question for Luke- Why can't you play with the 5 old blackberries in your toy box as opposed to my live, active cell phone? And how on earth did you figure out how to unlock it and make calls and change contact information and manipulate the calendar?
Yet another question for Luke- Since you're obviously very good at using the thing- How do I switch back to the year 2009 without scrolling through 68 years worth of months?

Is it time

2009-07-27T16:28:00.003-04:00

to address my OCD or is my awareness of it's existence, for now, enough? Does counting the sweat drops as they fall off your face and hit the bike in spin class and comparing that number to prior weeks numbers signal the need for intervention? Or is that some quirky exercise person survival of the fittest characteristic aka going bored out of your mind avoidance technique?

186

Pondering

2009-07-21T14:06:00.004-04:00

How is it fair that it takes 2 long months to take off 13 pounds and 3 days to put 1/3 of it back on? Furthermore, whoever made up the bullshit story that "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is dead WRONG. If that were the case the steaks and fries and corned beef hash and raspberry vodka lemonades and pina coladas I ate and drank while there would have stayed there, NOT on my hips.

humpffffff

2009-07-13T08:22:00.001-04:00

Special Thanks

2009-07-10T08:52:00.004-04:00

going out to the lady at safety swim that helped me put Eva's bathing suit on yesterday amidst one of the hairiest public hissy fits I've ever been unfortunate enough to witness.

Basically I struggled and struggled and struggled trying to put her swim diaper on while 10 horrified onlookers stared until one lovely, been there done that Grandma decided to do her good deed for the day. I held Eva in straight jacket fashion and this nice lady put Eva's suit on for me, all the while dodging kicks and spit and horrific insults, and (probably most importantly) reassuring me that Eva would be fine and every kid does this. For the record, I didn't see anyone else's kids doing that.

This was swim lesson #2 and although it started out WAAAAAAAAY worse then swim lesson #1, where I had the element of surprise and unknown on my side, it ended WAAAAAAAAAAY better. Eva even managed to stop crying part of the way through and actually enjoyed herself. Here's hoping that it wasn't a fluke.

Dolphin Pose- Exercise tip of the month ;-)

2009-07-06T09:49:00.003-04:00

Starting Position
Start in an inverted V: forearms on floor, elbows wide, hands clasped, butt lifted, legs straight. Tip head between arms to look at feet.

Action
Looking up, press body forward until chin is above hands. Return to start to complete one rep.

The movement is subtle. You are only moving your butt up in the air a few inches. When you go flat try and hold it for a few more seconds to make it a little harder. I do 15 of these every few days and without fail everytime I do them I get sore in places I never knew existed. Give them a shot. They are supposed to strengthen your core and they do exactly that...after they tear your core apart..... Well worth the burn.

How long does a man

2009-07-02T09:23:00.002-04:00

have to be married before he just KNOWS that you simply cannot get feminine hygene products at Lowe's??? I mean like really knows? Like doesn't have to ask anymore??? 6 years? 20 years? What? How many?

Wish me luck

2009-06-30T10:17:00.001-04:00

not going to say why I need it ... yet... but I do. Got a lot going on (all good) but I'm superstitious so I need to keep mum. I'm still here. I'll be back soon. With news hopefully. Stay tuned....

This girl is wise beyond her years

2009-06-13T21:10:00.004-04:00

I don't think I could manage this feat till at least 17 years of age. For a girl who learned how to walk late, she's walking in heels waaaaaaaay early.

A shout out

2009-06-13T21:07:00.001-04:00

The happiest little boy I've had the pleasure to meet. I don't think its possible for him to make eye contact and not grin from ear to ear. It's his gift to me everyday.

fudgy the whale

2009-06-13T21:06:00.002-04:00

Fudge pops, one of the few pure joys of summer.

Been busy

2009-06-02T12:50:00.003-04:00

LOSING 5 pounds!!! Go Me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I owe it all to:

1. sparkpeople
2. asics running shoes
3. nysc
4. a good sports bra
5. sheer determination

8 more to go to get to my goal and in 4 pounds I'll see a # in the middle that I haven't seen in 8+ years. How you like me now?

When I get there I'm getting a tattoo. I have an idea of what I want but I'm also taking suggestions into consideration.....

A little late buuuuuuut

2009-05-26T09:56:00.001-04:00

Happy 1st birthday Lukey!!! How can it be that he's a year old already?

The end of an era

2009-05-18T10:43:00.005-04:00

A baby locked up in her crib, at my mercy, peaceful in her room until I say she can come out, safe in "baby jail", sleeping in a cage era. And it's bittersweet.... for all of the reasons I just mentioned and a million more. Am I being dramatic? Sure. Give me a little leeway, she's my baby. It was nice to know that she would be there until I got her out. It was nice to feel needed when I went into the room every morning to lift her out of the crib. It was nice to listen to her play in her crib with her dollys on the monitor. It was nice to only have to change a crib sheet every week and not to have to deal with pillow cases and top sheets and quilts and all of the other shize that goes along with a big girl bed. All that is over (with the girl child at least) now. The crib has been (FINALLY) passed on to baby Lukey (who'll be one in a few days) and Eva is in her big girl bed.

How did she do in her first night in her big girl room you ask???? She didn't cry, or complain, or climb out, or fall out and break her leg, or get up in the middle of the night, or pull a bookshelf over onto herself, or break the mirror on top of her dresser, or fall out of the window.... None of that stuff that I thought was going to happened, the stuff that was keeping her in the crib all this time even though her big girl room has been set up for over a year, happened.

Sweet because it was a momentous occasion for us. A banner day at the Lifschultz household. Eva is in her big girl room at the ripe old age of 2 years 4 months. Bitter because all of this time I thought she couldn't do it, wasn't old enough, would keep me up all night. Bitter because I feel like a heel for doubting her and for the aforementioned reasons. Anyway, it's done... We lived through it... and it wasn't bad. AT. All.

Starting to solve the mystery

2009-05-08T13:45:00.005-04:00

Although the mystery is not really a mystery because I know the answers. The hardest part for me has always be in the executing. If you're like me and you have a hard time executing on your weight loss goals/vision/ plans etc you need guidance and support and a nudge in the right direction. And if you're also like me in that you are an obsessive, anal, ocd planner than I found something that will help you. In the past, I used a calorie counting website with great success.

This website I'm about to show you takes calorie counting, which we all know is a major component for losing weight, to another level. Not only does it let you count calories (and fat and protein and carbs, etc) but you can track exercise (cardio and strength training), h2o consumption, hours of sleep and a whole host of other things that will contribute to a healthy lifestyle. If you don't know shize about exercise it will plan a routine out for you and show you how to do it. Consider it your own Jack LaLane. If you don't have an ounce of Rachel Ray in your body it will plan out your meals for the day/week/month/year and provide you with a detailed grocery list. If you need someone to talk you down of that cheesecake ledge every now and again it has a panic button you can push and get "emergency" online support and guidance. You can micromanage your life down to the littlest caloric detail... should you choose to get that granular. It's the bomb. Check it out. Sign up. Live better, eat good things, be more active, set and accomplish goals, get to the weight you wanna be at and stay there. All it takes is a little awareness, a little persistance and some effort. You deserve it.

Without futher ado:

WWW.SPARKPEOPLE.COM

Oh yeah and it's effin free.

The weightloss wagon

2009-04-30T17:56:00.003-04:00

I'm back on this crazy rollercoaster again. I finally got down to pre prego weight a few months ago and with only 10 more pounds to get to my goalweight I promptly rewarded myself but putting on 5 pounds. Why do I do it to myself? Why does it have to be so hard? Not trying to sound pathetic and "woe-is-meish" here. Those questions are more general questions for humanity as a whole.

While I was at the gym today I was watching Oprah (If my boss is reading this it was the late replay in the evening not the first run of the show ;-). There was a man on there who is in the Guiness Book of World Records for losing the most amount of weight ever. Over 1000 pounds. Guess what? He gained every single pound of it back. I can't even wrap my brain around that. I'm seriously jammed right now in a thought process windtunnel of WHY? HOW? could someone go through that and be on Oprah talking about it? I'm floored. Why is it so damn hard to get to and stay at a weight that makes us happy? Maybe even more puzzling why can't we be happy at the weight we're at?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-22T21:45:00.002-04:00

How's this for timing?

2009-04-19T21:03:00.003-04:00

Picture it. The whole Lif family driving around on the first gorgeous day of the year, Saturday April 18, 2009. Setting the stage here now so indulge me would ya. A fab day at the petting zoo with friends. Lunch at applebees with friends and beers and one baby who slept the whole time and the other who sat and ate her whole meal peacefully and without protest. I should have known things were going too well... that the hammer was about to drop. On the way home we were listening to the baseball game on the radio and decided to rol up the windows and put the AC on so we could here the game. What? Wait? The AC doesn't work? Hmmmmmm that's weird.

Fast forward a few hours later to a conversation between Marc and the toyota lady:

Marc- Hi I bought a car from Toyota a few years ago and my a/c just went out. I am sure it's under warranty could you let me know what I should do to have it fixed.
Toyota lady grumbling about having to do shit on a beautiful day- When did you buy it? If it was brand new when you bought it you get a 3 year or 36000 mile warranty.
Marc- I don't remember b/c it was 2 + years ago. It's a 2006
Toyota lady obviously pissed about being a toyota lady- What's the VIN #?
Marc- VIN # is blah blah blah
Toyota all of a sudden perks up and has spring in her step because she's evils and gets off on delivering this next little tidbit- You're gonna die.
Marc- Why?
Toyota lady with what I imagine to be an ear to ear grin-The system shows you bought the car on April 17th 2006.
Marc- Huh? So you're saying if this happened yesterday I'd be covered 100%
Toyota lady- Ayup
Marc- But today I'm not?
Toyota lady- Uh Nope

Look A Like Meter take 2

2009-04-17T13:49:00.001-04:00

I win!!!:

Look A Like meter

2009-04-17T13:38:00.000-04:00

It's a tie:

A child with a good work ethic

2009-04-11T10:28:00.002-04:00

In the making.

Coloring Eggs on

2009-04-08T20:22:00.003-04:00

Passover with my Pizza Bagels. The joys of an interfaith family.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-08T20:18:00.001-04:00

One of life's biggest mysteries?

2009-04-03T17:32:00.003-04:00

Why do people who want to kill themselves find it necessary to take innocent others out with them when they go? I can't for the effin life of me wrap my brain around that compulsion.

Wordless Wednesday 4/1/09

2009-04-01T20:58:00.001-04:00

All the money we spend on toys

2009-03-31T21:32:00.002-04:00

for these ding dang kids and Eva sits on the couch and plays "batteries" (that's what she calls it)? Really? Believe me, I know I'm not the first person to ponder this phenomenon but I think it's a code that we collectively need to crack. If you saw how many toy boxes and piles of toys these kids have scattered around this house you'd look at me judgingly. It borders on excessive yet she sits indian style on the couch dumping D batteries out of flashlight and putting them back in. Over and over again. I asked her what she's doing and she tells me "I'm busy playing batteries mama". Okay then.

HAPPY 95th birthday Grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-26T18:39:00.002-04:00

What better reason for me to be back to blogging could there be than to wish my Grandma a happy 95th!! birthday!!! This woman pretty much rocks in every way and I can't wait for many many more happy and healthy birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you Grandma!!!

PS- thanks to my cuz Jodi for the picture!

Not done yet

2009-01-19T17:04:00.002-05:00

but getting very close. I painted the basement this weekend. In between dinner with the girls, a wedding, a hangover and football.

Here is a pic of the progress as per Uh Nets request:

The before for comparison purposes:

Here she is as of yesterday. Still waiting on the ceiling (which she got today), the floor, trim, closet doors and furnishings:

OCD

2009-01-19T12:15:00.002-05:00

You know you have it when you spend 35 minutes getting the knots out of my little pony's hair and your kids aren't even home. I need help.

Pondering Plumbing

2009-01-12T23:41:00.003-05:00

Why is it that when the plumber is here and the water is turned off my internal plumbing kicks into overdrive?

E-B-D

2009-01-07T19:47:00.005-05:00

Holy cow Eva can spell. It's time to come up with another code word for "bed" because Eva knows what we're saying when we give eachother the look and say "It's time for B-E-D". Tonight, when it was determined that for the last 20 minutes 40 seconds out of every minute was spent crying I gave Marc "the look" and said "it's time....". He knew exactly what I meant and apparently so did Eva. Before I could finish my encoded statement she began running around the den in hysterics screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO E-B-D!". All the proof I needed that she was indeed ready for bed.... and "Hooked on Phonics".

Basement Renovation day 1 Eve

2008-12-28T21:18:00.004-05:00

YAYAYAYAYA It's finally here. Basement renovation time. I don't think I can accurately convey my excitement for getting the basement playroom finished and the toys out of my living room, den, bedroom and whereever else. Here is what the basement looked like a few days ago before we cleaned it out:

Tomorrow you get to see what it looks like all cleaned up and cleared out (except for a couch that marc and I didn't feel like humping up the stairs and then back down in a few weeks).

Stay tuned for progress pix and probably some interesting stories....

Self Sufficiency

2008-12-24T09:48:00.002-05:00

of the most basic kind (except he didn't mix it and deliver it):

What's next? A leaners permit????? Oy gavelt!

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T09:16:00.001-05:00

from the Lif's!

How do I break it to my dear husband

2008-12-19T17:51:00.007-05:00

that his first ever snow bonding session with Eva produced a sculpture that looked more like a snowpenis than a snowman????

He had so much fun making it that I don't even think I can.

And would it be wrong to knock it down early tomorrow morning before anyone drives by and actually sees it?

An Oxymoron

2008-12-11T22:15:00.003-05:00

Vacationing with babies.

Tomorrow Marc and I will be getting up at 4:30 am to fly to Florida with both of the children to visit marc's parents. We'll spend 4 days tiptoeing around the hotel, apologizing to anyone and everyone for noisy disruptive kids, avoiding crowded restaurants like the plague, living out a of suitcase with only the bare necessities (due to the new jankerific luggage restrictions on all of the airlines) only to come home late Monday night and go to work on Tuesday. Sounds fun don't it????

Wordless Wednesday- The baby seal crawl

2008-12-04T19:56:00.001-05:00

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

I have arrived people!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-03T09:12:00.004-05:00

Apparently if you google "Fun toddler photo shoots" my very own blog, ADayInTheLifeOfALif (The Toddler Photo Shoot Chronicles- The Christmas Installment), comes up in a not too shabby 7th place!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holla!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to thank my mom, my hubby, my kids, Google and of course the Almighty for this wonderful honor!

Pondering Panties

2008-12-02T17:16:00.004-05:00

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.

Why is the word "panties" plural? I get that it's a spin off of pants and it's probably plural because pants is plural, so that begs the question why is the word pants plural? I understand why socks is plural and shoes as well but pants and panties and undies... I don't get it. I've also seen it called a "pair of pants" or a "pair of panties" or a "pair of undies". WHY????? When it's actually only one item of clothing. And since it's a *pair* of pant*s* shouldn't that mean there are actually 4 articles? Pant*s* should mean 2 at the very least and *pair* denotes a quantity of 2 as well. It stands to reason that a pair of pants should be at least 4 items, no? The only thing I can think of is it has something to do with the fact that their are 2 legs/holes in a typical pair of pants/panties. Uggggghhh. Can someone with a grasp of the English language or lots of useless knowledge please let me know why the makers of panties are cooking the books and overinflating their presence so? Please? Kthanxbai.

The Toddler Photo Shoot Chronicles - The Christmas Installment

2008-12-01T15:48:00.013-05:00

If Santa were real and I were good enough to be deserving of a gift I would most assuredly ask him to turn my kids into well behaved, good picture taking, cheese saying, pose cooperating charming precious little muffins for like 10 stinking minutes. Be honest with me- is that too much to ask? Since you and I know Santa is a crock I'm stuck with non posing, hair messer-uppers, drooling like a wrinkle dog, non cheese uttering, non cute being, opposite of charming and most UNprecious little devils. So this is installment 3 of the Toddler Photo Shoot Chronicles- The Christmas Shoot. To refresh your memory Shoot 1 was baby announcement day and it yeilded that horrendous but terribly funny picture of ookie that made him look like he was pinching out one. Shoot 2 was Target day which yeilded... NOTHING... well nothing purchasable or usable thanks to the girl child. So as not to disappoint, Shoot 3 was so exactly predictable. There was drool, drama, crying, smacking, running and hiding, bribing, more crying and finally defeat. Be on the lookout for a Christmas card that will literally send shivers up Mammar's spine (sorry Mammar but that's what you get for being away again during another Toddler photo shoot).

Here are some of the more notable shots:

I know people. There ain't a damn thing right with them. The "set" sucks, the lighting is horrific, the angles are horrendous and as if all of that wasn't bad enough the children were most uncooperative. I've been wanting to buy a fancy new camera but for a while but I know that won't make the children want to behave so I'm saving myself the loot. Their outfits are presh though, no?

Holy

2008-11-30T21:36:00.001-05:00

muther effin crud it's December!

Sorry Beatrice

2008-11-27T22:11:00.001-05:00

But you were good and you had to go. Today I'm thankful that Bush didn't pardon you.

Just in case

2008-11-27T11:55:00.002-05:00

Anyone was questioning the integrity or veracity of my "roll call" blog:

Original post here http://adayinthelifeofalif.blogspot.com/2008/09/time-to-clean-out-evas-crib.html

Happy Half birthday

2008-11-23T10:19:00.005-05:00

To my fluffy, stud muffin being, crawling, man boob having, drooling, sleeping through the night, cereal eating, haircut needing,whale like, manly mustache having, 6 month old chub of love OOKIE:

Dare I say, his awesomeness makes me want another.

Not a good day

2008-11-11T19:08:00.002-05:00

to be an article of baby clothing in this house today. I had to throw out 2 boy onesies, a pair of boy sweatpants and a pair of girl leggings due to 3 seperate blow out the back and up the front shit incidents from 2 kids. You do the math. That's a lot of feces, diapers, cotton and suds making the rounds up in here.

The 2nd annual Casa de Lif Turkey Day

2008-11-10T10:23:00.004-05:00

IS AT MY HOUSE AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!!!!!

Holy crap!!! Let me know if you're coming and I'll let you know what to bring ;-). Here's what's on the menu for now:
Turkey (Duh)
Potatoes
Green Bean casserole
Brussel Sprouts
Green Salad
Yams (which, for the record, I despise but am always guilted into having)
Canberry Sauce
Mashed Cauliflower
Corn Bread (take two)
Stuffing

Anyone have any "out of the box" ideas??? When I say out of the box I mean out of the Thanksgiving box not something I can make that comes out of a box...although that would be helpful...

Thursday 13- My favorite words

2008-11-06T10:49:00.003-05:00

In no particular order:

1. Belabor
2. Behoove
3. Integrity
4. Fugazy (not a real word but it should be)
5. Gratuitous
6. Sha-lay(also not a real word but should be)
7. Eleventy (ummmm another made up word)
8. Slackjawed
9. Crikey (more slang- courtesy of the crocodile hunter)
10. Compensation
11. Thus
12. Sereptitious
13. Sanctimonious

After reading over this looks it appears I should write a letter to Mr. Webster....

Halloween '08

2008-11-02T09:58:00.008-05:00

Wordless wednesday

2008-10-29T18:53:00.001-04:00

Product Endorsememt

2008-10-26T12:55:00.002-04:00

For the OCD mom!

Hours of mess free, worry free, fun creative playtime to be had by all...mom included ;-)

A Boy and his buddy part 2

2008-10-24T17:47:00.001-04:00

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Open mouth insert hand, foot, & mouth Disease

2008-10-21T19:22:00.004-04:00

Is running rampant in the Lif household. Okay so Lukey's version is mild and it's technically called Coxsackie (streetname= Hand Foot & Mouth virus). He's got a grody rash on his feet and legs and in his mouth and he's a little less happy than normal. No biggie...we'll ride it out and should be good to go in a few days.

Eva's version is a little more severe and it's where the "insert foot in mouth" part comes in. Additionally, I think it's here to stay for a bit longer. Allow me to relay a conversation between Eva and one of her grandparents. The name of the other party has been changed to avoid any embarassment the relaying of this story might cause for the interested party. I overheard this as I was on my computer in my dining room while NANA and Eva were playing in the den.

Nana: Oh eva lets read a book
Eva: Okay "Nana"
Nana: How about this one (insert some random book)
Eva: No
Nana: Okay how about this one (insert another random book)
Eva: No
Nana: Okay well do you want to play with this puzzle?
Eva: No Nana
Nana: Okay well then lets play with this piano
Eva: Okay Nana

Right about now is when Nana bends over to pick up said piano and breaks a little wind... not uncommon for someone in Nana's age range.

Eva: Nana fotted!!!!
Nana(trying desperately to change the subject): Eva here is the piano we are gonna play with!
Eva: NANA FOTTED
NANA (still desperately trying to change the subject): Come here we'll read a book then.
Eva: NANA FOTTED!!!!!!!!!! NANA FOTTED!!!!!!!!!!NANA FOTTED!!!!!!!!!!

It's a wonder that NANA didn't hear me bust out laughing as loud as I did. Or maybe she did and she was just desperately trying to blow the whole thing off (literally).

A 20 lb soon to be 5 month old

2008-10-21T19:19:00.001-04:00

I'm taking this show to oprah!!!!!! Is this kid a ham or what???

Mammar dont be mad

2008-10-20T10:17:00.002-04:00

But I'm taking the kiddies for "professional" pix today at Target. I hope this doesn't get you like a kick to the gut. You're off galavanting and the kids are getting cuter by the second and you're missing it and my photography skills...well...they suck. So I figure I'll give Target a shot. Wish us all luck. I can't get over this impending sense of doom and the fact that Eva is fighting her what would have been a most perfectly timed nap right now is making me worry. Her mood at this point is out of my control. Their outfits, on the other hand, I have total control over. So you can expect them to be dressed similarly and very adorabley. Stay tuned for a interesting update and hopefully at least one cute pic. Remember what happened last time I tried to have a photo shoot with these kids????? Here's a shot of the boy child just to refresh your memory...

A boy and his buddy

2008-10-19T15:57:00.003-04:00

Unbeknownst to me I've created a monster and am setting my child up for a lifetime of rotted out digits and dental work and ridicule from his friends because somehow I created him with an innate urge to suck and of course I put the thing on the end of his arm that fits perfectly in his mounth. Apparently I'm supposed to take away the one thing in this world (besides me) that comforts my boy and makes him happy. WTF? Listen, I tried. I tried making him like the plug or giving him a woobie. And I've repeatedly asked him instead to form an attachement to a stuffed teddy bear but the kid ain't having it. So I'm putting this here so we can move past it. Lukey loves his thumb and momma doesn't have the heart to take it away from him. I've decided to deal with the other catastrophic things I'm setting him up for if and when they happen. For now the boy can have his thumb.... and suck it too.

Friday haiku Ookie

2008-10-17T14:34:00.002-04:00

I am a model
you know what i mean yeah i
do my littl turn

on the catwalk yeah on the
catwalk cuz im to
sexy for my shirt

I know.. not very original... but the pic is worth posting no?

Thursday 13- Indispensible things

2008-10-16T17:53:00.002-04:00

1. Baby Alice (for snuggle time)
2. Raisins (for bribery)
3. Baby Einstein videos (for sanity)
4. Aunt Kerrie (for days when work needs to get done)
5. Maricela (for when the house is destroyed)
6. Branchinelli's (for Italian in a pinch)
7. The Internets (for vegging)
8. Text messaging (for when I don't feel like calling people back)
9. GPS (for finding stuff)
10. Skinny Cow (no explanation needed)
11. Naps (for all involved)
12. Coffee (b/c without it I couldn't live)
13. Facebook (to keep in touch)

Time to give back people

2008-10-15T17:32:00.002-04:00

I am just about to finish my ...how do i put this delicately... in the john reading and I need some suggestions. Let me hear them. I'm partial to mystery fiction with a twist or non fiction memoirs that tug at the heart.

I'm in a serious

2008-10-14T20:33:00.000-04:00

fatal almost blog rut.

A plug

2008-10-12T09:52:00.002-04:00

If you haven't been you're missing out so you really need to check out

http://imgbainsf.blogspot.com/

If you have been you know what fab reading it is!